Find Your Big Magic

I recently finished reading Elizabeth Gilbert's book Big Magic, and here's what I thought of it:

Absolutely wonderful inspirational advice.

If you are pursuing any kind of creative passion, at any kind of level, read this book. It's such a refreshing take on the creative process.

In short, Big Magic is the ideology of freeing artistic endeavors from labeling or valuing them by external quantifiers, such as money, fame, awards, recognition, status, and the like, and admonishes to instead purse creativity for creativity sake. For the joy that it brings. Let the ego go, and let the heart take over. Stop worrying about what others think and how they see your artistic expression, and allow yourself to fall in love with your personal passion all over again.

I know there have been times in my belly dance career where I definitely felt this way. I felt pressured to land a new restaurant gig, make a troupe audition cut, or win a competition. I was valuing my art and my enjoyment in it based on what other people thought, based on what external value was being assigned to it. And you know what? It was a sure fire way straight to a dead end for enjoying what I was doing. It was killing my art, my creativity, my soul, and my spark. 

Gilbert is also a big proponent of keeping your day job, so that you can take the pressure off your art form as a means of paying your bills. I completely agree with this. There was a time when I wanted to be a full-time artist, but not anymore. By letting my day job cover my expenses, I have the freedom to selectively choose which people and projects I want to work with, and which I don't. The projects that light me up get the green light, and the rest get left behind without causing any financial anxiety. 

Gilbert also introduces this incredibly cute, but also incredibly resonate idea that creative ideas are these sentient forms of energy, floating around in space, just waiting to find the right human being so that a magical collaboration can be entered into. What is the trick to catch one of these magic ideas? You have to be listening. You have to be open with your receiving antennae on and tuned into the creativity vortex. That's how you find your magic.

If you are feeling stale, stuck, bored, or uninspired by the things that used to bring you joy, this is the book for you. If you feel shot down by rejection, pride wounded by criticism, this is the book for you. If you just need more magic in your life, this is the book for you. I highly recommend that all artists and creatives add this to their reading list.

I will leave you with this powerful quote from the book. "I have learned to watch my heated emotions carefully, but I try not to take them too seriously, because I know that it's merely my ego that wants revenge, or to win the biggest prize. It is merely my ego that wants to start a Twitter war against a hater, or to sulk at an insult, or to quit in righteous indignation because I didn't get the outcome I wanted. At such times, I can always steady my life once more by returning to my soul. I ask it, "And what is it that you want, dear one?" The answer is always the same: "More wonder, please."

Yes, more wonder. Free yourself. Free your art. Embrace wonder.

Validation is for Parking

Validation is for parking.

So simple, yet so wise. If you read my post about my experience prepping for and competing in Belly Dancer USA, then you heard me mention this phrase there.  As much as I might like to, I can’t take credit for this genius phrase.  I stumbled across this from Austin Kleon’s book Steal Like an Artist: 10 Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. It’s short and to the point. I got through it in a 1-hour lunch break. But man oh man, is it powerful.

Seeking validation is something I’ve consistently struggled with in my belly dance career. It’s in part, a holdover from the rest of my life, where if I’m being honest with myself, I also seek a lot of validation.  In my past I’ve consistently sought and received validation in the form of awards, money, jobs, promotions, and certifications.  In school, I was an honor roll student, captain of the gymnastics team, first chair in the orchestra, and swimming record holder.  In college, it turned into full-ride scholarships, international business competitions, and graduating magna cum laude. And it’s continued into my adult life with job promotions, raises, and professional designations.  Overall, it’s been a lot of running around checking accomplishments off a list. 

Additionally, I think the need to seek validation in belly dance has arisen for me more in this art form because belly dance doesn’t originate from American culture.  When I belly dance, I’m representing someone else’s culture and history.  A culture that I didn’t grow up in, don’t speak the language, and don’t fully understand the social nuances of.  I’ve certainly tried to lean as much as possible, but regardless of what knowledge I take in, it will never change the fact that I’m an American.  I fully respect other cultures, and as such, want to make sure that if I’m representing someone else’s, that I am doing so in a manner that is respectful and accurate.  However, at times I think this desire has gotten in my way of being my own dancer and allowing me the freedom to interpret belly dance in manner that is individualized and adapted to myself.  

Thus, I’ve spent a lot of my belly dance career seeking outside validation.  Wondering, am I doing it right? Does the audience like what I’m doing? What do the other professional dancers think of me? Am I good enough? Are they judging me?  Is my technique solid?  Maybe they are all bored?  Should I dance faster?  Smile more?  Maybe not so fast and not so much smiling?  Maybe if I just do X, followed by Y and finished up with Z I'll have it down? Or no, maybe I should do Z, then X, and Y? Or how about X, Y, and Z all together at the same time?

In other words, I’ve spent a lot of time worrying about what other people think and hoping to receive their validation.

But art isn’t black and white.  There isn’t right or wrong, regardless of those who try to insist their way is "right".  Yes, you do need to know the rules before you can break them.  But after you've learned the foundation, it's all an interpretation.  You can attempt to compare and categorize, but it’s so subjective that when it comes to art, no two people are going to come to the exact same conclusions all the time. So if you’re always worrying about what other people think you will never reach your full potential as an artist.  You will never own your own creative process.  You will never be truly authentic.  You will never birth the art that resonates with your inner being.  And you will never experience that elusive state of tarab.  You’ll instead spend your time being an imitation, chasing yourself in circles and second guessing your choices.  

I should know. I’ve been there.

Well, actually, I’m still working through it. Trying to find my own voice in this dance.  But hey, they say you “teach” what you most need to learn, right? Thus, this is where my current work resides: letting go of fear, fully opening myself to vulnerability, and allowing myself to speak my truth.