Sequins and Shimmies: Permission Slip to Say No

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Permission Slip to Say No

This is your permission slip to say no. That's right, no.

Say it with me. No.

As women it seems we frequently feel the need to say yes. We want to please other people and make them happy, and by result, end up saying yes even when we don't really want to.

But this often creates the problem of living a life that doesn't always align with one's own core values and interests. Of having a schedule that is overly full. Of not being able to find peace of mind and settle into the present moment. We need to stop being busy just for the sake of being busy, or for fear of displeasing others. You're worth isn't defined by your achievements or the fullness of your date book. Sometimes less is more, so that's why I'm granting you a permission slip this month to say no.

What can saying no do for you? Maybe you'd like to find more time for your belly dancing or for another hobby or activity. Then saying no can help you to reclaim your time. It can clear up large blocks on your schedule. Maybe you don't really need to attend a book club meeting for a novel that doesn't interest you, or go to you child's PTA meeting. Maybe someone else can take on the extra project at work or drive the carpool for once. I'm not advocating never doing anything for anyone else, but rather advocating taking a step back and re-finding your balance. As Paulo Coehlo said, "When you say 'yes' to others, make sure you aren't saying 'no' to yourself." Make sure you aren't inadvertently saying no to your dance.

Summertime especially can be a busy time for dancers with many festivals occurring, and also frequently more private parties. Thus maybe you're feeling the opposite and burnt out with too many dance commitments; saying yes to shows or other dance-related events you feel you should say yes to, but deep down, don't really want to attend or participate in. Sometimes taking on all the gigs you can squeeze in, in the hopes of breaking-through to another artistic level, or to get your foot in the door professionally is what you have to do. But sometimes we also need to give ourselves a break. If that's what you're feeling, then permission granted to say no my darlings.

As we sail through the final weeks of summer, find the time to savor them, engaged in the activities that resonate with you. Maybe you'll find that you'd like time to:

...savor an afternoon cup of tea