Cultural Sensitivity and She Said What?!

This post was inspired by a recent incident at a wedding I was performing at. I had been hired to do an approximately 20 minute set, during which the bride and groom had requested an audience participation section. Specifically, they'd requested I pull up a couple of the groomsmen up to dance with me for one song.

Fast forward, day of the show, I'm working my way through my performance, and upon arriving at the song I'd selected for the audience participation portion, I make my way over to a table where there were four groomsmen and their respective dates sitting. I grab one man and gently lead him to standing. I reach for another, when the woman sitting next to him clamps her hand down on his forearm and whispers something furtively in his ear. Upon this, the man gets a slightly awkward, indecisive look on his face. Not entirely sure what just happened, I smile and say come join us, beckoning him to stand. At this, the woman turns around to me with an angry stare and tension in her jaw and says, "I say no, and I'm the wife!"

Insert sound of record scratching. Sudden desire to slap my palm against my forehead.

Wait, what!?

I have so many thoughts go through my head in quick succession.

Lady, have you been watching the show so far? 

You realize this is a belly dance performance, right?

Do you think I'm up here performing some type of adult or "inappropriate" entertainment? 

What type of unfounded bias is this heated reaction coming from? 

As well, as maybe a few other more personal comments that are better left unsaid.

But I think perhaps the reaction that stood out the most for me was the level of cultural insensitivity and quick judgment encapsulated in that statement. Because when it came down to it, the one thing I really wanted to say was a brief oration on the history of belly dance, including it's significant cultural and historical roots. Roots that her comment denied, discredited, and disapproved of in one short demeaning reaction.

In that moment, I had to hold back from launching into a lecture in the middle of my performance. Instead I bit my tongue, smiled, and moved onto the next groomsman, and concluded a lovely show. But if I had said something, this is what I would have said:

Where does your intense, uninformed, and unfounded level of judgment come from?

Let me give you some background info that might make you feel differently.  

Belly dance, or raqs sharqi in Arabic, is a traditional dance of many Middle Eastern countries, especially common in Egypt and Turkey.  While raqs sharqi has been theatricalized and stylized for stage performance, it has roots in raqs beledi, literally meaning dance of the people. Raqs beledi is a dance characterized by grounded footwork and hip and chest isolations performed by men, women, and children in their homes and during celebratory events. Both raqs beledi and raqs sharqi are performed to music that is intricate and beautiful, based on a complex musical system of maqams. It encompasses unique rhythms that tie back to various cultural regions and people of Egypt, such as the sai'idi rhythm originating from along the Nile valley. It is a dance that has overlapping components of dance vocabulary with traditional folkloric dances, such as ghawazee, raqs asaya, and shamadan.

Ultimately, it has heritage that goes back years beyond American dance and performing arts. Don't be deceived to think that Hollywood is the only epicenter of dance stars. Belly dancers, such as Samia Gamal, Tahiya Carioca, and Nagwa Fouad were big movie stars in Arabic cinema. The dancer and choreographer, Mahmoud Reda achieved fame and acclaim on par with America's beloved Gene Kelly. And while, yes, the sparkly two-piece costume is not traditional prior to the twentieth-century, I would like to point out that it covers more of a dancer's body that your average ballet costume. But for those not familiar with a belly dancer, it somehow feels easy to look down upon, to consider low-class, while ballet is "classical" and "refined". Let me say, it's time to recalibrate that narrative.

In short, my take away is this: before you judge someone else's culture, before you dismiss something  you aren't familiar because it's foreign to you, take the time to be informed. Take the time to pause and consider how many layers of history, culture, and tradition you might be disparaging with your initial assumption. Cultural sensitivity, inclusivity, and respect should always be the first and last stop as we engage with each other.

Photo Credit: Samia Gamal, source unknown

It's All In the Details

Sometimes it's the small things that can make your dance go from good to great, so this month I want to share a couple tips for small changes that will make your dance instantly more polished and professional looking.

These three techniques are ones that we work on constantly in the company I dance with, Lunaria Dance Theatre. They are all items that I was a bit lax about before joining the company, but our Artistic Director, Mellilah, has really emphasized them and they have slowly and surely been getting drilled into my body and become my defacto dance habits. As you practice and perform, keep these tips in mind and you will definitely see positive change in your dance. Although warning, small doesn't mean easy. And in fact, it's often the small details that can easily get lost and overlooked, especially when performance nerves and excitement take over. Just like any other aspect of dance, there's only one way to achieve it: practice, practice, practice!

1. Engage your back muscles. Focus on engaging your lats, or more formally your latissimus dorsi, the muscles in your mid-back, just below your shoulders, as well as your traps, or trapezius, the muscles running vertically from along the spine in the upper back. By really engaging through these muscles you'll stand taller, open up the chest, and broaden the shoulders, instantly improving your posture and giving you a more strong, proud, and confident carriage. One of the most important aspects of performing is confidence: a performer must be confident so that the audience can feel at ease and will want to come along on the artistic journey. Confidence starts with posture. You want to be larger than life on stage; expansive and broad, not contracted and small. You want to clearly portray the message that the stage is yours and you belong there. Additionally, engaging the back muscles will greatly help with any arm movements you make, as the work will come from the center of the body and the energy will start in the center of the body and extend out through the fingertips, making for more elegant, controlled, and beautiful arm movements.
2. Pull in the abdominals. Relaxing my abs was unfortunately a bad habit that I developed early on in dance. It's been a challenge trying to undo this bad habit. So don't be me and drill bad habits into your body! By engaging in the abdominals, especially the lower abs below the belly button,  you will look again look stronger and overall appear more polished and experienced. In addition, you'll look slimmer and your whole overall posture and carriage will be improved. Maintaining a strong core is the best and most effective foundation from which to create your isolations and traveling steps. Also, engaging the abdominals will help protect the lower back, especially in moves like the Maya and figure 8's with the hips.
3. Always perform. No matter what you're doing on stage, you're performing. If you're standing, you're standing like a dancer. If you're walking, you're walking like a dancer. Nothing should ever be pedestrian or how you would walk or stand in normal life. Your posture is always lifted and energy is extending out the fingertips. If you are standing, you're finding a beautiful S-shape pose, showgirl stance, asymmetrical pose with foot popped, or other pose that matches with your musical selection. If you are walking, you are pointing the toes, prancing, swinging the hips, runway model walking, strutting, or whatever walk conveys the the artistic nature of your piece. But you are never walking like you would just walk down the sidewalk. (Unless perhaps you just happen to be super fabulous in your everyday life. Hey, you do you!). From the moment you step onto the stage until you get off, you are working it head to toe.

Master these tips, in addition to your belly dance technique and musicality, and you will own any stage you step onto. 

Photo Credit: https://www.videoblocks.com

Interview with Zaphara - Part Two

 

This is part two of my interview with legendary dancer, Zaphara. After chatting with Zaphara, she had so many wild stories, that two posts were necessary to fit them all in! You can read part one here.

Alessandra: How has your Greek heritage influenced your belly dancing?

Zaphara: Overall, I have a passion for the music and the dancing. I love Greek music because I can understand the words, but I also love Arabic music.  Even though I can’t understand the words, it still gives me a sense of what it’s about and evokes a feeling.  Also, being Greek has put me in a position of representing the Greek community, and in particular, Greek women.  But then overall, that’s generally a problem for all dancers, is that they are representing not only themselves, but dancers and women in general.  The general expectation is that dancers are second class citizens, so you have to prove yourself; whether Greek, Arabic, Turkish, or American you have to take into consideration how you are dancing.

Alessandra: Between your length of time of time as a professional dancer, and your fiery temperament, I know you’ve got to have some great gig stories. Have any that you care to share?

Zaphara: Oh, I’ve got so many gig stories.  One happened at the Lebanon Restaurant in Seattle, in the l980’s.  It was THE hot spot and always packed.  Lots of Arabs would come and it was a place for them to bring a guest to show off their culture.  This night, Omar Batiste was playing tambourine, Imad Fata on oud (Lebanon), and Shiham Sbeit on tabla (Palestine). And we had a big table filled with the soccer team from the University of Washington.  One of the players was an Arabic guy and wanted to bring his teammates in to see what his culture was about.  At the time, when the dancer would go out for tips, it was common for patrons to help her up onto a chair and then onto their table to dance.  And from there, they would tip her on her belt.  As I was up on the table, one of the American men on the soccer team, put his hand under my skirt and was about to go up my leg.  I took a handful of his blonde hair and yanked as hard as I could. I could definitely tell it hurt. And his buddies roared because I had shown that son of a bitch!  Wrong place, wrong move, Dude!

Another time when I also ended up inflicting pain on a customer was at George’s Bar and Grill.  I was dancing there three or four nights a week, and we were having a really big busy night.  Taki’s band was playing, and there was a table with two guys sitting near the stage area.  As I was dancing, one of the guys, stuck out his tongue and licked his lips suggestively at me.   When I saw that, I just lost my temper inside and turned away from them.  But when I turned back around, he did it again! So I slowly danced over to him and put my hand under his chin and suddenly, I slapped his jaw up.  At that exact time, he happened to have his tongue out of his mouth and I ended up drawing blood!  His buddy just roared.  Taki kept playing but was looking at me with eyes big as saucers because I just assaulted a customer.  But after that the guy stopped this behavior,  and watched the show.  I was so upset that I ran back to the kitchen and told my boss to get this guy out.  He needs to be in a strip club, not a Greek club.  After the show, the man walked over and he apologized to me. Fortunately, rather than suing me or the club.

On another night, also at the Lebanon, we had a large party of Saudi royalty in.  You could tell they were well to do with Rolex watches and nice suits.  Their wives were there too, with the black traditional dresses and head coverings, sitting quietly while the men were clapping and talking.  I noticed one elderly lady in the group who appeared to be the matron of the group, smiling at me.  When I went out for tips, I was going to stay away from them, but ended up going over to the old lady, and as she was reaching to tip me, I said thank you in Arabic, sokran, and suddenly her face stopped smiling and looked mortified.  I thought oh no, I’ve said something really bad.   I finished , went back to the kitchen, asked the  kitchen crew what I said,” sokran.”  They started to laugh and said that I’d actually called her a drunk.  I’d said sokran, rather than shokran, which means “thank you.”  Well, I got dressed went back out and apologized profusely, and finally she took my hand and smiled.

And I have another story involving Saudi royalty.  For a time, Seattle had various Saudi princes who were here going to college here.  They were obviously well to do and for Seafair one year, a prince with a beautiful house on Mercer Island had hired myself and the M.B. Orchestra to perform at his party.  The house was enormous with a big pool outside of the kitchen, blue velvet walls in the living room, two 80-foot “cigarette boats” sitting on his dock, and women all over the place with four hanging all over the prince.  Bahaa set up his keyboard near the edge of the pool, as they had specifically requested a candelabra dance.  The prince also had two or three body guards, and one was half drunk, completely excited, and playing a tambourine.  The drunk body guard kept coming near me and I put my hand out for him to keep his distance because I had 13 lite candles on my head and I can’t balance it if I get rattled. Well, he kept trying to dance with me and I lost my temper. I looked at him, smiled, and said can you swim? He said yes, and I pushed him into the water, tambourine and all!  I just can’t understand why we were not hired back (smile).

Alessandra: What advice would you give to new dancers?

Zaphara: Practice, practice, practice. Sometimes it takes 10 years to be really good at this.  I took 10 years of lessons, and my teacher was constantly there criticizing and critiquing me, so with every performance I would learn.  The other very important thing is learning to freestyle.  My teacher threw me into the fire pit and I was fortunate to start with live music, dancing with the MB Orchestra and Taki Dotis.   I tell my students to dance to live music when you can find it. I remember doing a show with Spiros and we had a young drummer with us who didn’t know the beats.  So when we got to the end of the show and drum solo time, Spiros started giving me a solo with the bouzouki instead.  Two of the strings flew out and broke and he kept going. I just went with it.  We were hot.  It was something you could never repeat, so much energy I can hardly remember it.  The audience went nuts and the drummer seemed stunned but did a great job following us.   Those show experiences are a “natural high”, better than drugs or sex!!!  And you never know when this will happen!

Alessandra: And what advice would you give to dancers who are newly professional or looking to turn professional?

Zaphara: Sharpen your claws! Get out there and dance where ever you can to get your name out there.  Go to different places. It’s really hard to be a professional dancer right now, because there are limited  nightclub venues to hone your skills. But network with other dancers and try to get a name for yourself.  Advertise. Keep working it and try to get gigs. And always conduct yourself in a professional manner at all times.

With that said, may I introduce you to my alter-ego, Miss Jess E. Belle:

 

 

Zaphara’s Picture Explanation: Back in the day all the dancers were divas and I thought it would be fun to do a parody of this, so Omar and I put together Miss Jess E. Belle, who had made any early appearance  for Omar’s birthday party 20 years ago at Mamounia Restaurant. Miss Jess E. Belle is the hilarious epitome of inappropriate behavior & bad attitude for a dancer. She has been around a long time. She is terminally nine month's pregnant.  The sign on her back says "I should have danced all night".   She is slightly disheveled, hair, rollers, whatever. Her belly dance outfit? It’s not perfect, (ok, it's a mess).  She is grouchy, short tempered and being "ladylike" is not one of her strong points. She has been known to frequent the "tenderloin" district and her beverage of choice is any brand of fortified wine! She just loves to nibble on musician's necks and "paw" them while they are entertaining audiences. She always shows up uninvited.

 Pictured behind Omar and Miss Jess E. Belle, are members of Baladi Center Dancers, the first bellydance troupe in the N.W. that began in the early 70’s.  From left to right: Cindy Muir, Lorie Muir-Graff, Lorie Jones, Bill Jones, Mary Mohler (Karija - director of the Baladi Centre Dancers). 

Performance Bag Essentials

 

Gigging can be nerve-wracking at the best of times. But it’s even worse if you don’t have certain essentials packed. In addition to the extremely obvious items of costume and music, here are some items that are always stashed in my gig bag.

1.   Safety pins: The dancer’s best friend. The emergency fixer of broken and loose clasps. There’s nothing more dreadful than feeling your costume sliding or worse, popping, out of place while you’re on stage, so be sure have safety pins with you to pin it all together before you start your set.

2.   Hand towel: Double-sets, summer time festivals, rooms without air conditioning. Throw on top of that long-hair and tight Lycra costumes and you have one outcome: sweat. Not so pretty, or great feeling for that matter, when you are exiting your gig or about to go out for round two. Thus I always keep a hand towel in my bag for dabbing off the glisten after performances.

3.   Baby wipes: Restaurant floors are pretty gross. I have one restaurant where the bottoms of my feet are literally black after I’m done with my performance. I don’t even want to think about what kind of bacteria are clinging onto the soles of my feet. Thus enter the baby wipe to clean it all off. Other types of cleansing, cosmetic, or antibacterial wipes can work as well.

4.   Water: I’m a regular and frequent water drinker as is, so performance time is no exception. If you’re at a gig that’s making you nervous, some sips of water beforehand can help combat dry mouth and stop your lips from feeling like their sticking to your teeth (by the way, so can a swipe of Vaseline). And especially after a long set, knowing I have water right within my reach when I get backstage is always a blessing.

5.   Mirror: Especially if you’re headed to a new venue, you never know what kind of backstage “changing room” you might end up in.  Hello closet! (Yes, the walk-in storage closet situation really does frequently happen.) Thus it’s always a good idea to have a hand held mirror with you for last minute makeup checks. Also great for festivals when the changing areas are jam-packed with dancers and trying to get a glimpse of the mirror would involve elbowing someone else out of the way.

6.   Makeup bag: Even if you did your makeup at home, lipstick and eyeliner has a tendency to stray. Make sure you’re able to do last minute touch-ups if needed.

7.   Bobby pins, hair spray and/or curling iron: Same concept as the makeup bag. Especially on rainy or humid days, you might leave your house with one hairstyle and arrive at your gig with another.  Make sure you have the tools you need to fix it.

8.   Backup music: You put in the hours practicing and getting ready. Purchased a swanky, expensive costume. You step out onto the stage ready to wow and, and…..nothing.  Your CD is dead in the water. Yup, I’ve had it happen. More than once. So make sure you have a backup copy of your music. Most places these days can accommodate an MP3, which is my preference for backup music, as I find it more reliable than a burned CD.  In addition, I always tote around a small portable MP3 player as well.

9.    Cover-up: You don’t want to go spoiling your big costume reveal as you step onto stage, so make sure you have a cover-up to throw on before and after your set. Also good for keeping warm in the winter months, not to mention maintaining propriety and professionalism.

10. Business cards: You always want to be prepared to promote yourself. So make sure you have some business cards tucked into your bag in case someone asks for one, or there’s an opportunity to set some out on a table.

11. Hollywood Fashion Tape: These sticky little strips are essentially double-sided tape for the body. I always keep some in my bag as they are great for fixing any gaping areas in costumes, especially in the bra area.

12.  Veil and zills: Even if you don’t plan on using either of these items in your set, it’s always a good idea to have them in tow. Last minute, you may decide you’d like to make your entrance with the veil.  Or maybe use it as a cover-up.  Or the person hiring you puts in a special request. Same for zills.  Maybe your backup music also failed (see #8 above) and zills are now all you’ve got to create any type of music.  Murphy’s Law applies to dance, and it applies big time. Whatever can go wrong, will. So be prepared with backup options.

13.  Dance shoe: I’m a barefoot dancer, and I do everything in my power to avoid dancing in shoes, and especially in high heels. Never the less, I always keep a pair of ballet slippers stowed in my dance bag. Especially good for outdoor stages that have been baking for hours in the high summertime heat. Ouch for feet! Or if the indoor floors are looking like a level of yuck beyond baby wipes (see #3 above) and you decide preventative measures are necessary. Thus, I think it’s a good idea to have something you can slip on to protect yourself.

Those are the items that make my list. What else would you add?

Photo Credit: www.trendhunter.com

The 10 Types of People You Meet in an Audience

Audiences are the best, because without an audience, there isn’t a performer. But I just couldn’t resist stereotyping some of the typical personalities a dancer runs into in an audience with a little tongue-in-cheek humor.  In particular, I’m focusing on a restaurant performance, not a hafla or night club, because restaurants are where you run into the opposite ends of the spectrum and everything in between.  Certainly not meant to be all inclusive, but these were the first 10 types that came to mind. Enjoy!

1.      The Guy On a Date – “Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye contact.” That would be the motto of the man on a date. We know are you trying hard to impress that pretty lady sitting across the table from you, and you certainly wouldn’t want her to get any ideas that you are checking out the belly dancer. So your eyes stay riveted on her, on your food, on the floor, anything but the belly dancer.  I can almost see the beads of perspiration starting to form as you wish for me to move along to another table.

2.      The Birthday Party Table – Laughing, talking, clapping, you came out tonight to have a good time, and celebrate you shall. Balloons and a bottle of champagne on ice decorate your table. And your friend that you are celebrating tonight? You have no qualms about offering him or her up for sacrifice.  Pushing, pulling, another shot; whatever it takes to get your buddy up dancing in front of everyone. Because we all know true friendship is built on the foundation of embarrassment.

3.      The Diamond Anniversary Couple – You’ll soon be hitting your 30^th, 40^th or 50^th year of being married.  How did you manage it? I think because you don’t take life too seriously and it's demonstrated by the manner in which you watch the show. The husband doesn’t try to hide to fact that he’s making eyes at me and enjoying watching a woman in a midriff baring outfit, while the wife laughs good-naturedly at his silliness.  She could care less if he makes a fool out of himself.  She shrugs her shoulders, used to it after all these years.  Yes, he might be ogling a bit, but it’s only when he looks at her, the woman who’s been at his side for all these decades, that his eyes really light up.

4.      The Teenagers – Yeah, we all know it, you are too cool to be sitting at a table with your family, and you are certainly too cool to display any form of enthusiasm in public. God only knows how you got roped into this family shindig when you should be out with your friends. But even you can’t help but sneak some sideways glances when you think my back is turned.

5.      The Uninterested Table – You remind me the Anglo-American parents in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Polite, but unemotional.  Well-mannered, but reserved.  You aren’t showing much interest in the show, and frankly, you aren’t showing much interest in each other either.  Zills, veils, swords; whatever I try I just can't seem to put a crack in that icy demeanor.  When your flaming cheese also fails to elicit any type of emotion, I realize a lost cause when I see it, and move on.

6.      The Fellow Artist – Maybe it was a belly dance class, maybe another form of dance. Or possibly just an artistic disposition and interest in the performing arts, but you watch with appreciation, acknowledging with your eyes the complexity and difficulty of the moves. Asking me questions about where I learned and how long I’ve been performing. Realizing that there is much more going on than just a sparkly costume and made-up face.

7.      The Dad With Three Kids Under Five – Between the late night feedings and never ending diaper changings, it’s amazing that you’ve made it out to a restaurant at all. You’re tired eyes watch, remembering a not so distance past where you recall your wife being more fun and energetic. A time when the two of you, without a caravan of little people, used to still party and stay out late.  Maybe someday you will again. Tuning out your family and the chaotic mess that’s become mealtimes, you allow yourself a brief respite from the daily grind, happy to have a women smile at you without making any demands. Now if only you all can get home without any episodes of crying or baby vomit.

8.      The Table of American Guys – You are, perhaps surprisingly, quite well-behaved.  Maybe being raised in the country of women’s lib, you’ve learned that leering is inappropriate.  You’ve been taught that women deserve respect, not objectification.  Not waiting to be labeled as a sexist by fellow restaurant patrons, you watch shyly out of the corner of your eyes.  Your upbringing comes out in full force when it comes time to tip. “Do I put my money into her costume?  No, I must just hand it to her, right? No, maybe the first way was right.  Um, no, second way?” Indecisive, your outstretched hand with proffered money is hanging awkwardly a few inches off the table, unsure of what to do next. You look relieved when I solve your dilemma by politely taking your tip from you.

9.      The Table of Foreign Guys – You my friends are a different story. You leer, flirt, and stick money in my costume without hesitation.  You’re watching the show and don’t care who knows it.  The only time you aren’t watching is when you are outside smoking.

10.   The Under 10 Set – Oh yes, you are my favorite group. Your eyes light up at the sequins and sparkles when I walk into the room. Your gaze follows me around the floor, intently watching my movements. Surely, I must be some type of magical princess!  You tug on your parents’ sleeve, awestruck, telling them they need to look as well.  You haven’t yet learned to be “mature” and hold back on unbridled enthusiasm, and you aren’t embarrassed to get up in front of a restaurant full of people and dance along with me. And my, aren’t you cute when you come over with dollar bills from mom and dad?

Alright my fellow dancers, who did I leave out? Who would you add to this list?

 

Picture Credit: Yours truly, dancing at Enat in Seattle, back when I used to be a blonde!

Backstage at Belly Dancer USA

Last month I competed in the Belly Dancer USA competition in Canyonville, Oregon.  I’ll just get any surprise portion of the post over with and state right now, that no, I did not place.   I can’t say that it wasn’t a bit disappointing, because let’s be real, who doesn’t want to go home with a title and a trophy?  Not to mention it was a fairly big investment of time and money, if you add up the registration fee, private lessons, new Bella costume, gas, meals, and hotel.  However, I don’t feel it was all a waste.  I’m glad I did it and here’s why.

The Preparation

I started putting together my routine months ago.  The process of gathering ideas, selecting my music, choreographing and fine tuning  was almost a five month process for me.  Not only did I work on it extensively by myself, I also invested in some private lessons with Nadira, who was amazing in her depth of knowledge, advice, and encouragement. Advice: Get thee to her studio.

I also purchased my first ever custom-made Bella.  It was a steep price tag.  I’ll just go ahead and make full disclosure, it was almost a $1,000.  I pretty much had to close my eyes, hit send, and try not to think about it as I was transferring my money.  The costume turned out gorgeous, however, more on that end later.

I also did three practice performances, two of my exact competition choreography, and one local improv competition.  For the two performances doing my exact competition piece, I had mishaps happen right before I went on for both of them.  For one, my CD refused to play, and for the other there was change in the lineup that I was unaware of and I was announced as I still sitting in my seat in my street clothes.  Both situations were stressful and nerve-wracking, but they were good practice at dealing with the unexpected.  I was still able to execute my performances and felt good about them afterward. 

The competition was a different story.  It was an improv performance with a live local band.  Songs were drawn by the competitors at the beginning of the show and then were incorporated into a three-part set.  After each dancer performed her set, feedback was to given by three judges and then the audience voted on the winner.  As I was performing my set, I certainly didn’t feel like I was having an amazing performance, but it didn’t feel terrible either.  However, when it came time for my live judges’ feedback, they felt completely different.  I believe the nicest thing they said to me was that I looked pretty.  I received negative feedback on almost every aspect of the dance – poor musicality, lack of audience connection, limited dance vocabulary, poor arm positioning, etc.  You name, I'm pretty sure they said it.  Overall, pretty painful.  Needless to say, I didn’t win.  The day after the competition, I moped around my house all day.  Well, probably more than moped, I slipped into a downright funk, complete with mid-afternoon drinking.  I declared to my fiancé that not only was I certainly not going to compete in Belly Dancer USA, I was done with belly dancing altogether.

I guess it’s true that time heals all wounds.  I slowly came around again.  There is a video of that local competition performance out on the web.  However, to this day, I have yet to watch it. 

About three-weeks out from the competition, I regrouped my motivation and started practicing my piece every single day.  By the time the weekend of the competition rolled around, not only did I have my piece down forward and backward, I think my fiancé quite possibly did as well.  Or he at least had my three songs forever seared into his memory!

The Competition

Canyonville, Oregon is a six hour drive from Seattle, and a drive that I made by myself.  I drove half-way down to Beaverton and stayed with family the night before.   The morning of the competition, I completed the rest of the three hour drive, which given my nerves, spanned into a yawning eternity of highway.  In preparation for my honeymoon in France later this year, I had French language CDs in my car, which I listened to to help pass the time. Bonjour.  S’il vous pait. Je ne comprend pas.  One hour down.  To pass the other two hours, I alternated between having a conversation with my good luck stuffed teddy bear given to me by my fiancé, who I proceed to perch on the steering wheel, and singing at the top of my lungs to an old Alanis Mortisette CD.  So yes, to anyone driving past me, I was probably looking a little unhinged.  Oh belly dance, you see the kind of ridiculous and neurotic behavior you drive me to?

Finally arriving at the casino, I check into my hotel and start to get ready.  After an order of room service and checking into the competition, I'm feeling much more relaxed than I felt in the car.  I draw spot number four out of 17.  I acknowledge to myself that it’s not the best spot for scoring, but I'm also kind of relieved that I don’t have to spend hours waiting around for my turn. (For those who don’t think positioning matters, or judges who say they don’t score differently early on in a competition, I’ll just throw this out there:  All three dancers who placed were in the final five to go on.)

The competition started almost an hour later.  Sitting backstage, I listen to Awolnation and Rob Zombie on my iPhone as I stretch.  When I get nervous I fiddle.  Growing up as a swimmer, I would adjust my swim cap and goggles over and over as I waited for my heat.  Now as I dancer, I fiddle with my costume.  I reapply my lipstick.  Check that all my bra straps are secure.  Adjust my skirt to be exactly centered.  Pull my arm bands up to circulation inhibiting height.  And repeat.

Finally it’s my turn. My name is announced.  My music begins.  I take a deep breath and exhale a big, huge sigh out.  I say my new mantra, “validation is for parking”, in my head.  Think smile and relax.  And then I’m on stage.

I feel nervous, but also more excited and confident than I thought I might.  I can feel the adrenaline coursing through my legs.  My entrance piece is an upbeat Turkish piece by Tarkan, which is good for getting the extra energy out.  The other two times I’d done my practice performance, I’d completely forgotten this portion of my choreography.  This time, I barely miss a beat.  Before I know it, I’m into my taqsim.  I tell myself to slow my breath and ground down into the song.  However, I feel I still have a bit too much adrenaline going to really embody the slow music as it deserves.  At one point in my song, there is a pause in the music, which I’d planned to hold elevated on one leg.  However, I don’t hit my balance quite right and have to pull out of it, hoping that the wobble is not completely obvious to the judges and audience.  And before I know it, I'm onto the home stretch: drum solo.  I’d practiced this section so much, I could probably execute it in my sleep.  Feeling very comfortable with the technique and choreography, I really get into it and start to enjoy myself.  I even see a couple judges crack some smiles.  In the video, I think you can really see the relaxation happen, as I start out a bit timid in my movements in my first two songs, but really hit my stride by the drum solo. I strike my ending pose and feel that, for the drum solo at least, I nailed it.

My Takeaways

As you already know, I didn’t place.  In reviewing the judges’ scorecards and comments, my scores were mostly 9s and 10s, sprinkled with a few 8s and one 7.5.  One of the main areas I was marked down for was my costume fit.  In hindsight, a pretty silly item to be marked down for.  In the future, my new policy is that all new costumes require videotaping and review for fit, as when I was just standing in front of the mirror, the fit was looking fine.  But as we all know, standing in a costume and dancing in one are two entirely different things.  Learned my lesson on that one. 

But perhaps my most important takeaways have nothing to do with anyone else or their opinions.  By signing up for a competition, I really pushed myself to hone my technique, practice every day, and push out of my comfort zone.  And I learned the power of persistence and belief in yourself, even when others don’t.  When you get knocked down, the only thing to do is get up again. 

I didn’t win the local competition or Belly Dancer USA, but you know what?  It doesn’t really matter, because in the end, validation is for parking.  The true competition is the one you have with yourself.

Want to see the performance you’ve been reading about? Well you are in luck, as I’ve linked the video of the performance in below, so you can judge for yourself.  Don't feel like watching the whole 8 minutes?  Then skipped ahead to the drum solo, which starts right around 5:20.

 

Interview with Mish Mish - Part Two

This is part two of my interview with legendary dancer, Mish Mish. After sitting down with Mish, I had so much juicy content that I decided this was going to warrant two posts. So without further delay, diving right back into the interview.

Alessandra: With all your experience, you've got to have some funny stories from doing gigs. Any come to mind?
Mish: Bellygrams were really popular for awhile. I was hired to do a bellygram for Jim Nordstrom during the middle of a board presentation. I could tell he was upset and asked when it would be over. He finally walked over and pulled the plug on my cassette player. I've done a bellygram in the middle of a lecture hall at the North Seattle Community College. During one gig at the Seattle Yacht club, I had a man pick me up and start carrying me around. I had to warn him to put me down or he wasn't going to like the result! At a birthday party at a very wealthy, well-to-do house, the guest of honor starting chasing me and the other dancer around the house with a vibrator, and then came out with his wife's pantyhose on. And this was while his wife and children were there! Apparently they were used to it! I've done a bachelor party where when I walked in, all the men were watching porn. At another party, for a group of Russians, they were all in the hot tub when I arrived. And of course, I've had the usual belly dancer mishaps: forgotten music and costume parts, music that stops halfway through the routine, and a bra that comes undone. The latter becomes an exercise in how long you can dance with your elbows pinned to your sides to keep your top place!

Alessandra: (laughing) Those are pretty good. So what other dancers have inspired you throughout your dance career?
Mish: Jamila Salimpour has been a big influence, as she was the teacher that my teachers studied with, and I always remember being inspired by seeing her troupe, Bal Anat, perform. Bobby Farrah is another one. Aisha Ali was the dancer who first introduced me to folkloric dance. And Badawiya. She was one of the few dancers who was Arabic. She was exotic and sexy and feminine.  When you saw her, you never forgot her; gorgeous with wild hair, an incredible body and mesmerizing. I remember her saying once that you could achieve a natural high with dancing that was better than sex or drugs.

Alessandra: What events do you think have to combine and come together to create that natural high?
Mish: The dancer, the musicians, and the audience all have to come together. It usually only happens with live music, because it has to be a natural response to the music and not a thought-out reaction. The musicians have to be absorbed into their music, then the music is driving the dancer, and the audience is just taking in all the energy. It is an amazing feeling when it happens. I think belly dance is unique in this regard because it's one of the few art forms where this will happen. I think it's more creative than other forms of dance because it's a very individualized and spontaneous response to the music.

Alessandra: Alright, onto our last question, and the one I've been asking everyone. What advice would you give to a new student?
Mish: Take as many classes as you can. Have respect for the culture. Find your own style and perfect your technique. I would say a dancer needs two years of solid training, assuming the person has natural ability. Make sure that you have the basic, core moves down. And there really are only about a dozen basic steps, everything else is a variation.  Keep an open mind. Try different teachers. And most of all, have fun.
Alessandra: And what advice would you give to a new pro or dancer looking to turn pro?
Mish: Don't give up. Keep trying and be persistent. Eventually you'll get your foot in the door. Be seen! Get out and rub shoulders. Wear a sexy costume. It's a game and you have to fight and work hard.

Tools to Increase Your Performance Confidence

One of the most important things a dancer can do while performing is be confident. By exuding confidence, a dancer projects to the audience that they can relax, be comfortable, and enjoy the show. However, being confident can be easier said than done. Even now, nerves will still get to me at times. Especially if I'm performing at a new venue or there are other unexpected curve balls, my confidence can start to dissipate. But the good news is, there are a few performance tools you can think about employing to fake your confidence even if you're not feeling it. And probably the biggest benefit, the more you use these tools, the more you will start to feel genuinely confident and comfortable in your dance. Before you know it, you won't even be faking it anymore.

1. Breathe - when we get nervous or excited we breathe much more shallowly. From my early days of performing I remember walking off the stage and being so out of breath because I had barely inhaled or exhaled throughout my entire performance. If you're not breathing normally during your performance, your audience might not be able to put their finger on what's wrong, but they will subconsciously feel that tension. So you have to breathe for your audience! By breathing deeply, you signal to yourself that you can relax and let the present moment envelop you. In turn, it will also signal to those watching that they can do the same.

2. Make Eye Contact - it's surprising how scary making eye contact can be during a performance. As a performer, you are already putting yourself in a position of vulnerability, and making eye contact is inviting in even more vulnerability. Who knows what type of judgment or opinion of our performance we might see reflected back at us? Regardless, making eye contact is one of the key ways to display our confidence. So if it doesn't feel natural, force yourself to do it. I have a bad habit of looking down when I start to get nervous, so I have to remind myself to look my audience in the eyes. It doesn't (and shouldn't) mean that you are staring someone in the face your entire performance, but play with your gaze. Make eye contact for a few seconds and then look away. Repeat on a different audience member. The more you practice, the more natural it will start to feel.

3. Change Your Facial Expression - dance is a conversation, and just like in a normal conversation, your facial expression should change as you express yourself. Imagine how you would feel talking with someone who either failed to make an expression or just had a stiff smile for the length of your conversation with them. It would be awkward and uncomfortable. If you do this to your audience while performing, they will feel the same way. So make sure your expression changes to match the nature of the music. When appropriate, smile naturally, which includes smiling with the eyes as well. And keep in mind that you don't have your mouth closed for the entire length of your performance. When we talk, we have to open our mouths. Same goes for a performance. If your lips are sealed the entire time, you're closing off the figurative dialogue between you and your audience.

4. Slow Down - we've all done it; when that nervous energy takes over we start to move faster and faster. We feel we have to remain in constant motion or we're going to loose our audience's attention. But a performance needs nuance and dimension. It needs both fast and slow, smooth and sharp. But if you're dancing like the energizer bunny, your audience will get tired with you. So take a deep breath in and slow down. Stopping completely can even add in great dramatic effect. Especially when you make your entrance, it's very important to remember to keep the speed down. When you first walk out onto the stage, your audience really just wants to look at you. They are trying to determine who you are. They want to see your costume, jewelry, hair, and makeup. So let them! And remember, you don't have to do every move you've ever learned each time you take the stage. Sometimes less is more!

5. Remember, Your Audience Wants You to Succeed - no one goes to a belly dance performance hoping to see the dancer fail. No one wants you to trip and fall, have a costume malfunction, drop your sword, or forget your choreography. They came to be entertained and have a good time. They came to be happy. Some of my favorite performances to watch were not because the dancer "wowed" me with her technique, but were when the dancer conveyed her joy to me. So stop worrying, relax, enjoy yourself, and your audience will too.

Photo Credit: Picture of Saida from www.cadernosdedanca.wordpress.com